Wednesday, October 22, 2014
Happy Anniversary to Me!
“ This woman has fought a thousand battles…
And is still standing.
Has cried a thousand tears…
And is still smiling.
Has been broken, Betrayed,
But she still walks proud.
Laughs loud, lives without fear,
Loves without doubt.
This woman is beautiful,
This woman is humble,
This woman is ME!”
Exactly one year ago today, I embarked on a journey that would forever change my life. My last night in the town that I had lived in for 47 years, I stayed at my parents house. I had sold everything that I owned except for clothing, my computer and a few small personal items. I did manage to sleep that night somehow and got up to take a shower and get ready for my trip. Much to my delight, the shower was not working correctly and my journey was not starting out as I had anticipated. Rusty water was coming out of the showerhead and did not stop. My last shower before travel had literally turned into a “MUD” bath. Not exactly how I had planned to show up to my new life.
Saying goodbye to my parents was one of the most difficult things I had ever done. I had never lived away from them. I was fraught with emotions. Fortunately for me, my living Angels on Earth were with me to take me to the airport, offer me support and encouragement and most of all…love. I can’t tell you the emotions I was feeling as I stepped onto that plane…alone…literally for the first time in my life. You see I had lived a very sheltered life having suffered from severe panic/agoraphobia for most of my adult years. There were times I could not even go to the grocery store for weeks because of my fears. I missed out on a lot in life. I could not travel out of town and my life consisted of a 2-mile radius. Through it all I held my head high and accomplished quite a bit. I was a single mom who purchased her own home, ran and owned a very successful deli and also was Editor of our small town newspaper. I raised an amazing daughter who is just finishing her Masters Degree in Wildlife Education and am blessed with a beautiful granddaughter who is the love of my life.
First stop on my new journey was Ashland, Oregon to visit with my daughter and granddaughter. I stayed with them through Halloween. I got to spend quality time with my granddaughter, visit the redwoods, go to the ocean and see things I had never seen before. On the morning of November 1st it was off to the airport to my new home in Southern California. I was to be staying with a friend until I could get myself settled with a job, apartment etc. Life happens as they say and things do not always turn out the way planned. It turns out that my friend had a very serious drinking problem and was rarely off the couch. In fact, in the beginning, I would sit in her backyard and cry, thinking “what am I doing here?” Her husband worked away and was gone most of the time, unaware of how serious her condition was. I had no vehicle and no job and had no idea where I even was. The idea of her taking me to find jobs, etc. was impossible. She was too far gone. Eventually she filed for divorce and moved away. I was devastated. For her and myself. One Sunday I decided to visit the Church next door to where we lived and totally broke down during the service. I was scared and alone. At the end of the service people came up to me and I blubbered out my fears and not knowing what to do. Those people became my friends and lifted me up. I was not alone anymore. Why am I telling you all of this? Because I want to give hope to those who are scared to follow their dreams. This is how the story began but what happens next is where the dream came true.
Despite what was going on I knew that I was meant to live in CA. I felt it calling to me from the time I visited in 2010. It was time to put on my “Big Girl Panties” if you know what I mean.
I applied for a job within walking distance to where I lived and was happy to have a place to go, meet people and earn some money. As you can imagine, the small amount of money I brought with me was slowly dwindling away. I also joined a morning Boot Camp and told myself that for once in my life I was going to start something and finish it. I attended each and every boot camp and even the extreme challenges. I conquered “Sand Hill” in Malibu and the stairs at Moorpark College. At the end of the 30-day boot camp we were challenged to see how we had improved from our first day testing. I was almost always last in the running part. Little did I know when I went to the Awards Ceremony, I had shaved 4 minutes off my mile run and won an award. After that, working out became my new passion. The boot camps stopped holding the morning sessions and I decided to hold my own. Having lost 25 lbs. I was in the best shape of my life. I became a Health Coach for Herbalife and was recently named “Supervisor”. Helping others get in the best shape of their lives is something that means so much to me. It is a career that gives back.
Through the ups and downs I have conquered my fears. I was forced to “Push” through them. I have climbed mountains. I have traveled more this past year than I did in my entire life. I have been to Arizona, back home to Maine, and Oregon. I have been to Beverly Hills. Not to mention the beaches…Long Beach, Newport Beach, Venice Beach, Santa Monica Beach, Zuma Beach Malibu, Port Hueneme, Mother’s Beach, Point Mugu Beach, Oxnard, Surfer’s Point Ventura, Rincon, Pismo and Santa Cruz!
Each week I am crossing things off my “Bucket List” and the items on my vision board I created in 2010 are coming true! Did I forget to mention the best part?!? I fell in love!!! I found the type of man one could only dream of finding. He supports me in everything I do and is helping me to accomplish my dreams. I am blessed beyond words.
Just yesterday, I was coming back from a morning run and I stopped to say hello to a neighbor just two doors down that I had not met before. When I introduced myself she said, “Heidi, your name is in the cement right here with a handprint.” I looked down and there it was, cemented for life. It was in that moment that I knew…I was here all along.
~Heidi Martin St. Jean
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
because you are
You cannot be improved.
You have only to
come to it, to know it,
to realize it.
Saturday, August 9, 2014
who could hear you
speak a thousand
words and still not
And there will be others
who will understand
without you even
speaking a word.”
Friday, August 8, 2014
dreams to life! Do not be discouraged
by resistance, be nourished by it.
Success is the experience of rising
to the level of your true greatness.”
~Dr. Steve Maraboli
Thursday, August 7, 2014
Today is a great day to start your life! What are your hopes and your dreams? It's time to get up, wake up and start your new journey. What could be holding you back? Self-defeating thoughts, financial difficulties or fear? All it takes is that first step! Make it a great day!
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
a problem that was not there in the first place.”
other people’s hands.
They’ll drop it.
They’ll drop it every time.”
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Look behind you. See your sons and your daughters. They are your future. Look farther and see your sons' and your daughters' children and their children's children even unto the Seventh Generation. That's the way we were taught. Think about it: you yourself are a Seventh Generation."
~Leon Shenandoah, ONONDAGA
The Creator designed us with a free will. That means we function from choices and consequences. It is important that we practice thinking about consequences before we make decisions about choices. Every choice I make is like setting up dominos one after the other that produce consequences. Not just for me but also for my children and for the children that are unborn. My choices and decision today will have consequences for seven generations. For example, if I work on my own spiritual development and I walk the Red Road, the odds are that my children will. They will marry and their children will follow the Red Road and so will my grandchildren even up to the seventh generation. This will happen because of the choices and decisions that I make today.
Great Spirit, grant that the choices and decisions that I make today will honor Your laws and values. May I live in peace today that will ripple into the seventh generation.
We have Histories.
But we are not
We are Spirit.”
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
~Heidi St. Jean
The 1970s were a time of great upheaval for women. There was Roe v. Wade and the Equal Rights Amendment. There were Gloria Steinem, Billie Jean King, Golda Meir, and Carol Polis.
Who is Carol Polis? In 1971, Carol Polis married a part-time professional boxing referee. Within two years, she went from being a squeamish spectator to a professional boxing judge, the first woman ever to do so. As luck would have it, not only was this period the golden age of womens rights, it was also the golden age of boxing. Carol Polis had a ringside seat for all of it. Sometimes she was the main event. From cutting her teeth on three-round undercard fights at the gritty Blue Horizon in Philadelphia to finding herself at the center of a riot at Madison Square Garden; from being schooled in Joe Frazier s sweat drenched gym on North Broad Street to officiating in a Don King tournament and being investigated by the FBI; from following the careers of local fighters like Boogaloo Watts and Willie the Worm Monroe to becoming a personal guest of Muhammad Ali; from speaking at the nearby Rotary Club to appearing as a contestant on Whats My Line and To Tell the Truth; five-foot-one, 115-pound Carol Polis, for better or for worse, was treated as an ambassador for all women, a novelty, and even a misfit. Polis was bound by none of these labels.
First and foremost, Carol Polis was a mom. When her marriage breaks up in 1977, Polis's life becomes more a matter of survival than knockouts. It is while keeping a roof over her kids heads and later raising her grandson that Polis earns her heavyweight belt. The ultimate challenge, it turns out, comes not from attaining stature as a world class sports figure but from becoming a world class juggler. Carol Polis outdistances the 70s. Then the 80s and 90s, eventually officiating at a staggering twenty-seven title fights in nine countries. Like the era she leaves behind, she leaves the uncomfortable title of women s libber in the dust. Polis is, rather, an accidental pioneer someone who attains greatness not by seeking celebrity or confrontation but rather by being herself. The Lady Is a Champ is a sports story that will inspire women and a womans story that will floor boxing fans.
Purchase The Lady is a Champ
it’s shining in
is pretty scary.
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
1. Give up your need to always be right.
2. Give up your need for control.
3. Give up on blame.
4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk.
5. Give up your limiting beliefs.
6. Give up complaining.
7. Give up the luxury of criticism.
8. Give up the need to impress others.
9. Give up your resistance to change.
10. Give up your labels.
11. Give up on your fears.
12. Give up your excuses.
13. Give up the past.
14. Give up attachment.
15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations.
Monday, March 31, 2014
Have you ever watched kids
on a merry-go-round
Or listened to the rain
slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's
Or gazed at the sun into the
You better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last
Do you run through each day
on the fly
When you ask "How are you?"
do you hear the reply?
When the day is done,
do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last
Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow
And in your haste, not see
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
'Cause you never had time
to call and say "Hi"?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last
When you run so fast
to get somewhere
You miss half the fun
of getting there.
When you worry and hurry
through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.
Faith can move mountains and heal wounded hearts;
Beauty will linger where hope imparts;
Love can bring comfort when life seems too tough;
But, when day is finished, strength shall be enough.
Inner strength is a fortress where sanity reigns,
A pillar of peach, far from grief and pain,
A place where the sunlight so effortlessly shines,
Enshrouding the spirit in warmth, undefined.
In each moral fabric, one thing remains clear,
Through times of much hardship,
Strength falls with each tear;
Thus, with every teardrop, the soul shall be cleansed,
Thanks to inner strength and support from true friends.
No moment of struggle, marred by loss or grief,
Shall ever be greater than the wide belief,
That every challenge has reason to come,
For each heart is tailored to never succumb.
Inner strength is our light through a forest of trees,
Guiding our way, always, with the greatest of ease,
Embracing our purpose, down each earthen trail,
And the single reason, we’ll always prevail.
~Jill Eisnaugle’s Poetry Collection
|The Wish/Prayer Box|
Origins of Prayer/Wish Box Jewelry
There has been debate over whether the prayer box originated in the Buddhist or Hindu faith, but these prized religious objects are treasured today by many faiths, and even by nonreligious individuals. Originally worn as a religious ritual object, prayer boxes are now used primarily as jewelry and worn for sentimental, not religious, purposes.
Prayer/Wish Box Variations
Prayer boxes come in many styles, shapes, sizes and materials, but they all share one thing in common - they are containers for a cherished item of religious or personal significance. The opening to the compartment is most often secured with a latch, of which there are many types. Others open and close with a few turns, much like the lid on a glass jar.
Religious Uses of Prayer Boxes
Prayer boxes are used by the followers of many faiths, including Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, Christianity, and Judaism. All faiths use prayer boxes to focus the mind on one’s prayerful thoughts or secret wishes, typically by writing down a prayer or wish on a small piece of paper and placing it into the box. Doing so is believed by the faithful to make these prayers and wishes come true. It is also possible to place a small religious object inside the prayer box. A follower of the Hindu faith, for instance, might place a sacred Rudraksha seed, also known as "Shiva's tear," inside the prayer box.
Prayer boxes can incorporate images of deities or religious teachers, such as Ganesha, Lord Buddha (see image to the left), or Quan Yin. Much more common, however, are prayer boxes that integrate religious symbols into their designs, such as the star of David, the Christian cross, the Christian fish symbol (Ichthus), praying hands, the Om symbol, or the Tibetan prayer wheel.
Sentimental Uses of Prayer Boxes
Prayer boxes also have sentimental uses. For example, a spouse's lock of hair, a small photo of mom, the first lost tooth of your child, and other cherished items can be placed in the box and worn throughout the day as a remembrance of a loved one, here or long departed. An inspirational thought might also be written down and placed in one’s prayer box, from which strength can be drawn throughout the day.
Inspirational Message Prayer Boxes
In recent years, message prayer boxes have made their way onto the market. These boxes are usually engraved with a word, such as Peace, Hope, Love or Faith. These words can also be written onto the box using silver wiring or granulations (small silver dots), that are soldered into place to form each letter of the word.
Many individuals use prayer boxes as jewelry, and for no other purpose. A beautiful prayer box does make a splendid focal point or centerpiece on a necklace and adds class to any bracelet. What is the difference between a prayer box pendant and a prayer box charm? Size. Smaller boxes are usually used as charms on a bracelet, whereas larger boxes are typically used as the centerpiece of a necklace.
Thursday, March 27, 2014
|Vision Board 2010|
Definition of Vision Board
A vision board is a simple yet powerful visualization tool that activates the universal law of attraction to begin manifesting your dreams into reality. A vision board is simply a visual representation or collage of the things that you want to have, be, or do in your life. It consists of a poster or foam board with cut-out pictures, drawings and/or writing on it of the things that you want in your life or the things that you want to become. The purpose of a vision board is to activate the law of attraction to begin to pull things from your external environment that will enable you to realize your dream. By selecting pictures and writing that charges your emotions with feelings of passion, you will begin to manifest those things into your life.
I am sharing with you my "Vision Board" that I created in October of 2010. I had just come back from a month long journey to California from Maine. My life was a mess and I really needed to find myself. I suffered from Agoraphobia for most of my life and for many years my life consisted of a 7-mile radius. Although the journey has been long, today I find myself the person I always dreamed of being. After leaving California I went back home to Maine and thought about what I wanted for my future. I knew that California was the place I felt most spiritual and wanted to go back to. My daughter was still in college and I didn't feel right about leaving her at that time. Then in her Junior year of college she became pregnant with my beautiful granddaughter Jaclyn Jane. Again, I was compelled to stay and wondered if my dream of California would ever come to fruition. My vision board consisted of dreams for the future and as you can see, the State of California was on my Vision Board. I also posted my favorite poem, The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer. The first time I heard it my life changed. The paragraph, "I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments," really made me think about my life and if I could truly like my own company. I also posted my book on the bestseller list and of course, financial stability and my dream home on the beach in California.
Three years after I created this "Vision Board" my daughter, fiance and granddaughter made the decision to move to Oregon so that my daughter could attend Graduate School. I knew then if was time for me to follow my dreams. I am happy to say that I am living in Southern California. I made the move in October of 2013. I sold everything I owned and moved in with a generous friend of mine. That vision came true. I have also gone to the beach where my dream home resides numerous times. I no longer live my life in a bubble. I have traveled to more places in a month than most of my life. I enjoy my own company in the empty moments. My daughter and family are thriving! My book is in the works and Life Warriors is finally becoming what I dreamed it to be. My life is better than it has ever been!
I challenge you to create your own "Vision Board" and start creating the life of your dreams.
Namaste my "Warriors"
~Heidi Martin St. Jean